All the Tired Horses


Thankee Sushubh

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but somehow the universe has been kind enough to let me own a Wii. It’s a gorgeous machine and I am happy just to stand like a goofy idiot playing Golf (Golf! How I hate that sport outside of the electronic entertainment medium) all day. I do own games that let me be (among other things) a doctor (I know! Crazy!) and an Italian plumber.

What I haven’t mentioned, like ever, is that it’s Japanese. Now, there are times when you want to see an English menu, with the screen drawing pixels in the form you actually comprehend. But you know, geekery of geekeries, I actually enjoy swimming neck deep in the almost runic symbols that the Japanese language throws at me. As a result, you grow an appreciation of the various ways your brain makes sense of things. I absolutely marvel at my intuitiveness to just click the left squiggly to accept, and the right wiggly to cancel. It’s resonant with human potential, I tell you.

As a result, I may have no idea what the Miis are usually up to or if they assemble when you click the whistle just because they are Japanese in origin, or if they love you or if they are even crazy or what. I do know that they respond to you, and mock you by being happy in a round white room, while you can’t find the same hip deep in entertainment possibilities you invented for yourselves. We lack the Miiness and can’t respond to such a scenario with an even keel. It disturbs me.

Of course, much like Pi or other sane individuals, I had the option to actually buy an English language console – the fact that it is Japanese doesn’t mean that’s the only flavour it understands – but that would contradict my zeal to do something ridiculous each and every day, without which I don’t think I would be able to look at those fucking cartoons.

This was crazy uncle Sam, back to writing fucking cuckoo shit. Tell me something ridiculous you did today.

Half Life 2: The Orange Box

So Chris Baker over at Wired’s Game|Life says in his E3 round up : (Specifically for the Half Life 2: Orange Box)
“Let’s see: One of the best PC games ever made, plus two expansion episodes, plus an enormously fun multiplayer shooter Team Fortress 2, plus the unique puzzle/action title Portal? There really isn’t a better bargain in gaming this year. Anyone with a 360 or PS3 or PC who doesn’t plan on buying this must be smoking crack.”

Hoo boy, really Chris? Really? I have the original Half Life 2 box. I have HL2: Episode one. I have paid for those, and own the original boxes, you shortsighted commenter! Do you really think its a good deal, me buying the whole original box, paying full price for 2 mods and one episode? Huh? Valve has left me with no choice, and I think that sucks. Don’t kiss their asses because you want to play the whole box on your 360. I don’t. I want to play Ep2, Portal and TF2 on my PC. And if Valve doesn’t provide, you know what lesser people are going to do Chris? You know what? They are going to pirate. Yo ho ho, Chris, yo ho ho.

Not me though, I will probably have to buy the damn box, unless they change their minds and release individual parts on Steam.

Doesn’t mean I’m gonna like it.

Madhouse on Castle Street

“Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”, they ask me. What the fsck? What sort of a pervo ass poultry orgy is this? How can an egg come? Who is doing the nasty with the chicken I ask you? Is it a rooster, or is it a (your?) cock? Who’s doing it with the freaking egg?
In a world where you put celebrities in jail and that’s a good thing for their PR, are you sure you wanna dance with me on poultry sex?

“Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Starcraft 2 announced, bitches!

I command you to watch this:

“With StarCraft II, we’ll be able to do everything we wanted to do with the original StarCraft and more. We recognize that expectations are high following the long-running popularity of the original game, but we plan to meet those expectations and deliver an engaging, action-packed, competitive experience that StarCraft players and strategy gamers worldwide will enjoy.” – said Blizzard president Mike Morhaime.

Hahahaha, bitches, yes. You are mine. My Zerg Rush begins. Can you hear that voice in your head? You know what it is saying? It says, “You need to build more Overlords”.
starcraft2 starcraft2 zerg
Research Complete.