Comments on: Naah http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/ gamer/geek/dreamer Mon, 19 Sep 2011 21:13:03 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: serioussam http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/comment-page-1/#comment-11809 serioussam Thu, 16 Aug 2007 00:50:08 +0000 http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/#comment-11809 Even so, not good grounds to start off with. I need creative pills. Even so, not good grounds to start off with. I need creative pills.

]]> By: sunshine girl http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/comment-page-1/#comment-11782 sunshine girl Tue, 14 Aug 2007 05:32:45 +0000 http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/#comment-11782 No rey, it is still awesome. Still going to the memories. I am only checking now coz I understand the project. No rey, it is still awesome. Still going to the memories. I am only checking now coz I understand the project.

]]> By: serioussam http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/comment-page-1/#comment-11779 serioussam Tue, 14 Aug 2007 03:30:46 +0000 http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/#comment-11779 See? See? Shite. See? See? Shite.

]]> By: sunshine girl http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/comment-page-1/#comment-11777 sunshine girl Tue, 14 Aug 2007 01:05:10 +0000 http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/#comment-11777 Post a few re-reads and keeping the macro picture in mind, I have an observation. You may want to re-look at this: 1. She had tried telling the manager...: has both the manager and the liz as subjects. 2. He was more interested...: has the manager as subject. 3. Last night she had closed..: confuses the reader for a split of a second becuase you have been talking about the liz as well as the manager coming into the room in the last two sentences. Excuse me for wearing my reviewer hat. Post a few re-reads and keeping the macro picture in mind, I have an observation. You may want to re-look at this:

1. She had tried telling the manager…: has both the manager and the liz as subjects.
2. He was more interested…: has the manager as subject.
3. Last night she had closed..: confuses the reader for a split of a second becuase you have been talking about the liz as well as the manager coming into the room in the last two sentences.

Excuse me for wearing my reviewer hat.

]]> By: serioussam http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/comment-page-1/#comment-11767 serioussam Mon, 13 Aug 2007 11:58:37 +0000 http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/#comment-11767 Meh, I think it needs at least 3 more rewrites before it begins to get where it ought to be. Meh, I think it needs at least 3 more rewrites before it begins to get where it ought to be.

]]> By: sunshine girl http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/comment-page-1/#comment-11762 sunshine girl Mon, 13 Aug 2007 10:03:11 +0000 http://samratsharma.com/words/archives/2007/08/13/naah/#comment-11762 This is crazy shit - brilliant crazy shit. I love the way it has been written: the detailing of things of little importance yet significant, and the length in which the story completes itself but yet leaves *so* much to the reader's imagination. If this were LJ, this post would have gone to my memories. In your words, "awesome sauce." This is crazy shit – brilliant crazy shit. I love the way it has been written: the detailing of things of little importance yet significant, and the length in which the story completes itself but yet leaves *so* much to the reader’s imagination. If this were LJ, this post would have gone to my memories. In your words, “awesome sauce.”

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