Two Thousand and Five, Anno Domini

So 2005. Tsunami. Will Eisner. LJ+six apart.

Hell of a start, I must say.

Happy New Year nevertheless, have a good 2005.

However, I am not here to remind you of the calendar change by screaming “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” (in capitalized text too!) and run off like an excited 7 year old.
(Though otherwise it is a wonderful age to be. I’d be 7 all my life and only complain while doing homework. Honest.)
I’m not a writer with awards strung around my living room, and I am fully entitled to use the following as a poor excuse for segue:

Ahem!

I am here to mostly write a post, since I don’t want 2005 to be the year when blogging died, 2004 already being proclaimed as a year when it got boring. I’d stand else where in the argument (namely off screen, chewing corn on the cob, because God knows that’s the only civilized way to have it), but I guess that doesn’t matter, since Warren Ellis was the one doing the proclamation in question. Mr. Ellis, I shake my fist at you. I am also here to tell you that Transmetropolitan by Mr. Ellis is one of the most masterful and deadly cool comic book series written, the earlier issues ranking up there with works of Moore, Gaiman, and of course the works of Eisner lording over all of them.

But I am mostly here to do two things: One, to tell you that in the post modern, interweb writing world, it is okay to start sentences with And and But. And second, ( ) to tell you a story, the veracity of which I leave you to decipher on your own.

It all started in Janpath. I met Raja, Hyacie, and Anupma. While Raja has proven himself to be a straight male, he has a freakish knowledge of bargaining with novelty shopkeepers, and a shared(with the other two) warmth for shoe shopping. So the three of them shopped for Juttis in the absolute center of Delhi, as I watched with amusement the event. It is fascinating, watching 4 grown people (3 to 1) arguing over the price of ethnic juttis. Though I was the guy standing in the corner staring at the pavement intensely and muttering “fair’s fair” in favor of the shopkeeper, I’m sure the amusement of watching that sight must be someone else’s.
I dislike bargaining. I like things to be of a uniform price. I prefer barter. I am strange, and you must laugh at me, because staring at me embarrasses me.

Ahem!

And we talked about a lot of things. Like how Shiva has always been a cool God. You don’t mess with him. He’s strong, wise, and terrible when angered. Hes got a third eye which can emanate an uber ray of death. He is most definitely cool. Damn straight. But all the tees that you see of him are the ones you’ve been seeing since childhood, if you have ever had a calendar fetish. Why doesn’t someone do a cool representation of him, (respectfully of course. You don’t want to see what Genius Chang would do to him) and show it to me? We talked about how Charlie Kaufman copped out and created a Dharma and Greg like couple among all his lovable, oddball characters in Spotless Mind, and how just like Shahrukh Khan, Jim Carrey doesn’t have a job description in the movie. And whatever happened to Spike Jones? We saw a poncho and loudly sang the theme to The Good The Bad and The Ugly. Hyacie, my favorite Mumbaikar right now, bought a lot of hand made paper, and that was very cool. There was a militant salesman intent on selling everything and annihilating all competition. He wished me a Happy New Yearses.

Much, much later, I told them something I haven’t told anyone - I have a mortal fear of Mumbai. It has Bhai Log, devil trains from Hell(or Colaba or wherever), it has Shiv Sena, Chandni Bar, celebrity couples who don’t know how to kiss, and gay rapists. However I like very much the people I know that stay there, and I respect their courage in continuing to do so. It also has Goga Kapoor and Aroon Bakshi. You don’t know who they are because you don’t watch bad hindi movies. I do.

So then we also bought DVDs, shopping for which I like immensely and with a passion unrivaled except for when I shop for books and games. And it was then that Raja proclaimed that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is his top movie this year. As also the fact that Collateral will not feature in his top ten this year. Both statements sparked a minor debate, and I promised to do something that I am about to do now:

My Top Ten Movies of the year 2004. (Not ones I saw, because I also saw a lot of older movies, like Musa, which is pretty good, but it actually released in 2001)

There will be movies here you don’t like much, and there will be excellent ones that you’ll hate I missed. But you could take a list out too, you know. The ones you don’t like are here because they are good, but you don’t like them. That doesn’t make them bad. The ones you miss aren’t here because I haven’t seen them. My bad grasp of segue continues as I use:

Onwards!

10. Finding Neverland
Nope it’s not that great. But Johnny Depp does to this what he couldn’t do to Broken Window. He elevates the movie into greatness.

9. Ab Tak Chappan
The only Indian movie in my list, but what a movie. I haven’t seen the better ones that are touted for Oscar nominations, but I intend remedy-ing that. But AT56 is cool. Deadly cool performances, uncompromising direction, best background score of the year. This is what a Factory movie should be. Not Gayab. It starts with a quote by Nietzsche, and ends with the protagonist starting on a journey to become the superman that Nietzsche philosophized. Brilliant.

8. Collateral
I like Michael Mann, what can I say? Plus great performances, and a background score that reminded me of Indian Ocean.

7. Kill Bill Vol. 2
You want me tell you about KB V2? You’re crazy. Go, watch. See what the words seminal and cult mean.

6. Spider-Man 2
Raimi has been one of my favorite directors since his Evil Dead days. I even liked his curry flavored The Quick and the Dead and his much under appreciated For Love of the Game. The Darkman movie was his audition for Spidey. And thank God the producers liked what they saw. The perfect balance of in jokes, emotions, humor, and action this year.

5. Primer
I shouldn’t have seen this movie. I haven’t seen this movie. I love this movie. A stray torrent did a lot of good and a lot of bad. I intend watch this at least 6 times to completely tell you what I think of it. As of now, it stands at number 5. The smartest movie this year. And my favorite Indie movie.

4. The Motorcycle Diaries
You may or may not like what Che Guevara had become or stood for later in life. But watch this movie for the single best camera work all year, and a bloody good story of the growing up of two friends, their journey, and their bonding.

3. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring
I cheated a bit here. This movie released in 2003, but got a US release in 2004, when I actually heard of it, and then watched it. If you don’t think this counts, just move the previous movies one step higher, and bring in my number 11, Spartan in at 10.

2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Easily one the best movies of this decade, and classic Charlie Kaufman. Sardonic, funny, poignant, and loopy. It just lost points on the basic introductions to the main characters. The boring, uptight guy meets the colorful hippie. That the characters were, in due course of the movie, established as very much different and well fleshed out (except Carrey’s job. I hate it when the main character is started as a blank. I admit that it was Charlie’s way of letting us connect to him, but I’ve watched too much SRK movies for my own good.), brought it to number 2.

1. Shaun of the Dead
The best movie all year. One of the best zombie movies ever. In my top ten list of funniest movies ever. Brilliant. If I ever write a script as brilliant, or direct a movie with such accomplished story telling and such fine performances, I’d have accomplished something. Some faux movie connoisseurs may scoff at my choice of number one, citing the ‘intelligence’ quotient of Eternal Sunshine, Garden State, or Primer. If you see this movie, you will know what intelligent film making is. You will realize that a zombie movie can be as important a piece of cinematic glory as a celebrated scriptwriter’s newest. If you don’t, you are welcome to be pretentious.

Movies I did not see last year, that I have been told are great:
Ray, The Aviator, Million Dollar Baby, House of Flying Daggers, Infernal Affairs, A Tale of Two Sisters, Sideways, Ong-Bak, Maria Full of Grace, The Incredibles.

The Worst movies I saw in 2004:
Since there can be no “top” 10 for worst movies, here they are:
Musafir, The Terminal, Polar Express, Asambhav, The Punisher, Saw, Van Helsing.

I will continue my rantings on 2004 and my fear of whole cities as evil entities, until I find something worthwhile to talk about. Next up, probably: Games and Books and Comics.

BTW, I’ve donated, have you?