Its a turd… its a stool… its poopy man!
Every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward….
As much as I’d like to believe Prof. X, lately I seem to be surrounded by people who have NOT evolved in their intelligence beyond the Neanderthal age. And then they breed. Then there are more of them. I hate that. Then they ALL come surround me with their idiocy and try to kill me with brain blunting acts and their sheer disregard to the human evolution. I hate that even more. Time will come when extra terrestrial life forms will come visit us, see these people, and then bye bye earth! We need to obliterate you to create an intergalactic highway, and don’t you tell us we didn’t tell you, because the notice has been up at the office of….
Let it go, we all know of Arthur Dent’s misfortune.
Don’t get me wrong though. You see, I’m not saying I’m very bright either, but at least I’ve been potty trained. Ok, now is the time I warn you about potentially profane, probably gory and definitely dirty things that will follow. The sensitive among you will please stop reading, and go see these beautiful flowers. NOT for women/children/people with heart diseases/easily offended people/family. STOP READING.
Though you really shouldn’t be surprised. I’m not very clean and politically correct when talking to most people. In fact, I am the guy who takes interest in things like in-depth classification of boogers, and you know that.
Back to the discussion, WHY can’t these people follow simple basic rules of using male urinals in the office? They do things like try to strike conversation with you WHILE they are peeing! Uhhh I am thinking of right now baby, yeaaah! How’d you feel if I took my thing in my hand and start talking to you, turd? That’s right, not good! Then there are the ones who’d come stand NEXT TO YOU while you’re peeing, and then say things like, ‘boring meeting, huh?’. What do you want from me ass? You want me to turn around and face you, so that we can have a nice conversation, all the while soaking you with my pee? I am thinking NO. Then there’s buddy who walks up to the pee pee place, does his pee pee, and goes on out WITHOUT WASHING HIS HANDS! That’s right, he did not wash his fucking hands. And next time he sees me, he wants to SHAKE HANDS with me! Oh yeah? Well say hello to Mr. Namaste, moon turd.
You see this brick in my hand? It’s the brick OF JUSTICE. You see this head of yours? It’s the head OF EVIL. You feel this collision, where I smashed your skull in more pieces than Adnan Sami weighs in kilos? This is called EVOLUTION. And yours just stopped. Thanks for soiling the gene pool, fucker, now get OUT!
There, I needed to get that out. Okie, raise hands, all of you who did not heed the warning, read the post and got offended? You know, you should’ve listened. Thanks for all the fish.