Kill Jim
I adore spam. No really, I do. The fine people behind the lovely colorful emails you get in the morning are just good samaritans trying to bring some things to your attention. And they work exceedingly hard at it. The fact that you’re a man, and would look ridiculous with ‘BIGGER BREASTS! HUGE BREASTS IN 30 DAYS!’ makes no nevermind to them.
Come to think of it, we are just tied down with what we have been taught as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. Break the shackles people, and open your mind. See the naked, raw truth thats staring you in the face with an ice cold look that can come only with being naked. Maybe mustachioed, burly men SHOULD have bigger breasts. Look at Hulk Hogan, he seems to have taken their advice. Maybe pretty girl next door will become more popular among the LADIES when she sports her SUPER ENLARGED penis. Maybe 5’4″ guys weighing 53 kilos NEED to lose weight too. Maybe everybody should have FORTY ONE credit cards. And a hojillion house loans. Have you ever opened your mind to that? Did you even think how much you miss that SUPER DISCOUNT on dog food?
Whats that? You don’t have a dog? Well, thats exactly the kind of naysaying that symbolizes all the wrong in this world. Shame on you. Suddenly you’re too good for discounted dog food, eh? Have you ever thought about the feelings of poor Jim? Jim, whose only solace in his lonely sad life is sending informative messages to YOU. Jim, the guy who spends eight hours every day finding out the best possible way to make your life better. He senses your inner self. He even tells you about ‘HORNY ASIAN XXX WOMEN’, knowing full well how much you like Asian women with horns. Why would you ignore poor Jim? Why won’t you ‘CLICK HERE! CLICK HERE NOW!’?
Bah! Intelligent, sane people! All they seem to be saying is “Fuck you, Jim”. Damnations. Lemme check my email while I’m posting this….
*ding!
Aaaaargh! FUCK YOU JIM!
