Take me to thine breast, for I am home

Sitting late in my office, I just came up with a brilliant plan. Now, listen to this, patiently… when I am old and am about to die, I am going to try my damndest to get a hard-on, hold my wang in my hand, start grinning like a complete idiot, and wait for Rigor Mortis to set in.

Now think about it… how cool would that be? My sons and their wives and their sons… they’ll have a blast explaining to other people how gramps died… ‘uh well.. he was just lying there and… uh..’
‘But why is he sitting up right?’
‘why is he grinning?’
‘who else was in the room?’

Oh its beautiful! Of course if I die in an accident, or somebody kills me, this plan would fail… but don’t worry, its a long evening, I’ll think of something.