Brush With Disaster
After my reasonably sane explanation of the fly that wouldn’t die, I am encouraged to tell you about another mishap in my life. Some mornings ago, I was running a little late, so I tried to hurry my routine a bit. Rushing into the bathroom, I grabbed my toothbrush and began squeezing toothpaste onto it. But apparently, in my hastened and groggy state, I was unknowingly squeezing shaving cream on my brush.
This I discovered when I started brushing my teeth and the foul, burning bitter taste of Dettol shaving cream reached my MY TONGUE! IT BURNS! OH GOD HOW IT BURRRRRNS! THE ALOE VERA ENRICHED FOAM IS BURNING MY TONGUE AND THE RICH LATHERING OILS AND GLYCERINE ARE GENTLY SOFTENING AND MOISTURISING MY TEETH ENAMEL!
I had to brush thrice over with REAL toothpaste to feel any semblance of normalcy in my mouth. Though its still kinda numb and I feel like giving my tongue a close, smooth shave.
Pick your moral:
1. It is very important that all activities you perform before completely waking up be done in exactly the same manner, order, and speed that they are done every morning, or ruination shall surely befall you.
2. There really ought to be a warning on shaving cream that reads “NOT TOOTHPASTE”
3. Fuckin’ Hippies.
