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Archive for July, 2003

Take me to thine breast, for I am home

29 Jul

Take me to thine breast, for I am home

Sitting late in my office, I just came up with a brilliant plan. Now, listen to this, patiently… when I am old and am about to die, I am going to try my damndest to get a hard-on, hold my wang in my hand, start grinning like a complete idiot, and wait for Rigor Mortis to set in.

Now think about it… how cool would that be? My sons and their wives and their sons… they’ll have a blast explaining to other people how gramps died… ‘uh well.. he was just lying there and… uh..’
‘But why is he sitting up right?’
‘why is he grinning?’
‘who else was in the room?’

Oh its beautiful! Of course if I die in an accident, or somebody kills me, this plan would fail… but don’t worry, its a long evening, I’ll think of something.

 

The Tao of Foo

29 Jul

The Tao of Foo

IE

I was reading news off the net, and realized there are a lot of sites that still don’t support anything outside of IE, and that is a sorry, sorry state of affairs. This is a nice discussion on why IE is doomed, and the exhortations for using alternate browsers like Mozilla and Opera.

As for me I really don’t mind IE, but yes, it annoys me with its windowed interface, and the lack of many features which are second nature to good, alternate browsers. I use Opera exclusively, and sometimes turn on my Firebird. Now Firebird is an excellent browser, very fast, and advanced features like tabbed windows. However, many people, including me, have lamented about the woeful support for activex controls in the browser. It is thusly that I draw your attention towards NetCaptor. Its basically a shell for IE (IE needs to be installed in order for it to run), but has some good clean features just like Mozilla Firebird. Its also slightly faster (than Firebird), and unlike Firebird, can handle activex controls like a charm. Also unlike Firebird, its not free. However there’s a demo over at the site to give you a taste.

So these people are selling this watch:

boogalooga!

The only watch that’s also a weapon- it shoots BBs, dried peas, popcorn kernels, lentils and more up to 8 feet accross the room! This stainless steel watch will be the envy of the classroom or the meeting room. Use it to “wake-up” those sleepy headed co-workers and classmates. When they look around to see who’s been pelting them with spitballs, you’ll just be casually checking the time.

Now you know what to get me for my birthday.

And, oh yes, the ebony Ask Jeeves. I have a feeling this could catch on…

 

Just testing Blogthis!

28 Jul

Just testing Blogthis!
Ignore this post….

 

Involuntary Celibacy

28 Jul

Involuntary Celibacy

oh, yes!

and this too…

*Laughing real hard, tears down his cheek..
Garibon ki sunoh.. woh tumhaari sunega! Baba! Andhe ko ek rupya dede baba! Bhagwaan tumhari jodi banaye rakhe! Tumhare do do pappu hon!

Ok, now that all that is out of the way, my crap for today. I saw Darna Mana Hai and T3 during the weekend. Though the latter was fun, actually more fun than I thought it would be… Ramu’s latest was crap times seven. T3 managed to hold its own without Cameron and the original crew because it didn’t take itself too seriously… it was making fun of itself the whole time. Needless to say, that is the kind of smart, cheeky direction that makes movies enjoyable. Speaking of which, head on over here to see the latest by our cheeky director dude.

Another observation for today… women should never, ever, for the love of God, please, never wear purple lipstick. They look hideous.

Sitting here thinking about what to write for my post today I was coming up blank. Now that’s very typical of me, the blank thing. But I usually have some sort of complaint that I will bitch about or some bit of news I find interesting and thusly think you must know. But today I just really didn’t have anything. So I decided I needed some sort of muse… so of course I loaded up Winamp and scrolled through my big fat list of songs. Only problem the list is alive but the songs are gone… fsckin office policy. Anyhoo, I thought I could hum a song myself, so I scrolled through my list of songs, and picked a little ditty titled “The Mark Has Been Made” by Nine Inch Nails. As my crap-tastic office policy berated me with zero music and no entertainment, I realized that I need to start a revolution, but thats a story for another day. Thing is, I realized just how god damn much I enjoy these nails that are nine inches long. If you are not familiar with Trent Reznor and his genius I trust you will take my advice and get to know his music. Nine Inch Nails is on of the most influential Industrial Rock band, and Trent himself writes and records all of the albums pretty much on his own.

Whats the whole point, you ask? Nothing, I say. You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!

 

Drums of Heaven

24 Jul

Drums of Heaven

If you had any idea how many times a day I think of writing a blog entry and type up something stupid and then delete it, you’d laugh at me. I laugh at me. Everyone laughs at me. Stop laughing at me.

A lot of times it’s just stupid observations like:
Looky! Helvetica versus Arial!
Or that Japanese name thing(previous post). Or this. hee hee. Sorry, was just too funny.

Anyhoo, I wanted to post about this band called Say Hi To Your Mom . Kickass band and all, but thats not why I wanted to talk about it. This people, I don’t have to tell you, is the best name for a band. In fact, if there was an award for best name for a band, they’d probably win it. Of course Cream would give them stiff competition.

Speaking of Cream, whatever happened to Jack Bruce? He was a decent singer and all (actually, much more than just decent), but the bass that he played really, really used to knock me over. Only reason I ever listened to the All Starr band. Now I’ve never been a huge jazz fan, but his guy was remarkable on his bass guitar.

Back to cool name bands, another one that caught my eye was a Japanese rock band called The Elephant Kashimashi. Heh. So yeah, I was saying sometimes I just write stupid things here. But look at the bright side, there aren’t as many broken links on my toolbar now.

 
 
 

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