Not, Infact a Tiger
A year gone by since I passed out of college and started working. And I am still working. I guess that’s good. Of course neither me nor most of my friends know what we’re going to be doing with our lives. Whether we’ll study further, or just keep at this working thing, or find a new kind of animal to tame. Nobody knows how long we’ll be doing this, or more importantly, why we’re doing it.
I wonder if life grades by attendance.
Stuff that happens to most weird people
So AJ wants me to make a movie with Puneet and feature Andy holding a copy of the book 1984 in his hand and say, “I have been reading this since 1948″. It tickled my funny so much, I think I am going to do it. Though I have only a foggy idea, maybe thats how everyone starts off…..
A couple of friends who read mah blog emailed me and told me that in the middle of my masturbation jokes and clowning around, I sometimes let slip insightful comments. I need to keep better control of myself. People might actually ask me for advice if I prove that I have some to give. And I don’t remember anything even remotely insightful appearing here.
In other news, did anyone notice the name of the new Charlotte NBA team? The Bobcats. Owned by Bob Johnson. Greeeeat. As if egos in the NBA weren’t big enough, a team bears its owner’s name? What’s next, the Dallas Marksmen? Sheesh…
Some more weirdness- My company is holding compulsory English workshops for everyone. Though Arun got stuck in the ensuing embargo, I am still safe. And I am typing this from the floor of my cubicle, hiding from public view. I don’t know how long I can survive like this, but I intend to hold my fortress as long as I can, or at least till lunch hour. People! I got fucking 98 percentile on my English CAT score! Gimme a break here! Shoo!
Clazy Japanese People
So this place is selling a unique cardboard computer cabinet. A metal cabinet costs around 1500 INR, so money saving will not be that big a selling point. Since the site is in Japanese, here is the translated version of the selling points of the contraption:
It is biodegradable
One could decorate it by drawing on it
The case is easy to open and access (for upgrading)
Its made out of recycled paper
Its unique (therefore, fashionable)
They can customise it for you (the lettering from LUPO to your choice)
I’ll have to see it working to be convinced though…
GOOGLE Technology Revealed!
The technology behind Google’s Page Rank in its index is up for speculation no more! The secret is out. This is what Google has to say:
google.com: “As a Google user, you’re familiar with the speed and accuracy of a Google search. How exactly does Google manage to find the right results for every query as quickly as it does? The heart of Google’s search technology is PigeonRank�, a system for ranking web pages developed by Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin at Stanford University.
PigeonRank’s success relies primarily on the superior trainability of the domestic pigeon (Columba livia) and its unique capacity to recognize objects regardless of spatial orientation. The common gray pigeon can easily distinguish among items displaying only the minutest differences, an ability that enables it to select relevant web sites from among thousands of similar pages.”
Check out the full story here.
Carroto Juice
One of the most basic things that binds guys is their love of, and the fear of any harm to, their genitalia. While both sexes have their own private parts, the women privates are more private than the men privates. For men, it is simply a case of a stray cricket ball, or a misguided stone, or a snake hiding in their potty, to bring their very existence in jeopardy. And all men share the pain of the lone guy being hit in his cream and crackers by a leather cricket ball. I once visited a relative of mine who had an 8 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. We(by which I mean me, the family I visited, and their pets) decided to go out for a walk, and unbenownst to me and my uncle(yes he was my uncle), there was an extremely important life or death important event being covered on the telly at that precise moment. That is another way of saying there was a Mallorca versus Roya Spanish League soccer match, which as everybody knows are the most premiere teams in the Spanish league, which in itself is the league-iest of all leagues.
But men can smell sporting events from as far as Pluto, and this was in our own living room. Needless to say, my uncle and me plonked ourselves in front of the telly while the kids and my aunt were getting ready. And as soon as she came out all ready in her Nike joggers, she started telling my uncle off about how insensitive he was to the children and how he could not even help them get ready, and not watch the football match. I have a feeling she wasn’t too happy about her 5 year old running naked yelling ay-phoo-chaieeee all over the apartment either. Well, the little dude was told off too, and he decided to get ready on his own.
Big mistake. The kid got his well, thingie, stuck in his zipper. Ow! As soon as me and my uncle heard his scream, we knew, it was the secret guy scream of hurt directly in the Hamina-Haminas. The kid was crying of course, but you should have seen us. We were two concerned men, not giving two hoots about a screwed up rerun of a soccer game between two unknown clubs of an almost defunct sporting league. There was real concern, real paternal love and caring in our eyes. But most of all, we shared the pain. We slowly, and gingerly eased the offending zip off the kid’s by now public privates, while feeling a pain in our mean bean bags too. My aunt was marveling at us swarming over the kid, lightly joking with him to ease of the pain, getting him a huge chocolate box. For her, it was a minor injury.
Women will never truly understand this. Alas, the unity that men share will never be seen by female eyes. Just as well, at least they let us watch Spanish League.
